Gorgeous Mess.

C'est Qill.

BONJOUR.

i am a freak. a delicate one.

nice to meet u.

Friday, October 30, 2009,4:46 PM

it may b my anger but it sure is what i feel.

you may have your problems. so do i.

but never once i dont try my best to comfort you.

its not fair u never do the same for me.

i know i should not ask for help.

but sometimes i just cant do it all by myself.

sometimes i just need sumone to say its all gonna b ok.

am only HUMAN.

i am trying to survive.

am just not sure how long more i can last.

to the big guy.

i think you are being unfair.

4:30 PM

its fucking two way bitch!

the feeling of being there for sumone comforts you too.

but

the feeling you get when sumone comforts you is so much better.

i believe you dont deserve anyones concern if you only take and never give.

walking away n not being there for each other is FUCKING ABSURD.

to whom it may concern,

my anger towards you for walking away n not being there is FUCKING RISING bcos its not the first time.

DONT CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND OR MORE.

your never there when in time needed.

FUCK OFF!

i made my choice of people whom the pain i dont mind tolerating. but is it all worth it?

for now, i think am the FOOL.

Thursday, October 29, 2009,3:47 PM

hopes arent so pretty now is it?

a less twisted expression yet still a little wicked?

in doing the NOT i forget the WANT.

in doing the WANT i forget the NOT.

and it makes me feel STUpid.

maybe i am dumb.

heh.

Sunday, October 25, 2009,10:00 PM

too much of mind googling.

i wonder if you read my blog?

do you?

wonders. ~

4:00 PM

the desire to have is kept save and locked in a place where only reality turns fantasy.

in words i cant say. in actions i cant speak.

a smile engrave on the face will never show nor tell it all.

but trust the smile for the sincerity that it potrays is not a lie.

let the heart embark the belief of the present with the past being the witness in deliberating the future.

no hope. no expectation. just a strong feeling.

may it be true or not.

time will tell.

* a genuine smile*

thank you for the first light of happiness.

Saturday, October 24, 2009,5:37 PM

the ringtone of your voice carves a sincere smile on my face.

a call for a goodnite or a good morning is always something to smile about.

* smiling very very widely*

3:22 PM

truth be told. 143.

you put your guard down.
i wonder if its true.

you apologise.
i wonder if its true.

you said we cant be like this.
i wonder if its true.

i question everything you say.
bcos i wonder if its true.

all i want is for you to mean it.
say it is all true.

bcos i dont wanna assume.
i dont wanna expect.
i wanna know.

so tell me.

tell me if it is true?

do you really mean it ?

really do?

btw : 143.

3:06 PM

swept away by ignorance.

walking a lane knowing the was is a great feeling and now is a fondly feeling of what was kills for not knowing what is later.

enganging the feeling of lost, miss and hope.

the dream and nightmare holding hands to bring back reality.

for what is never gonna happen will not be the future.

in doubt of falling, i felt.

but sadly, too late.

now that it is uncertain and everything is so blurry.

i curse for shutting down when i should have opened up.

i blame myself for the sorrow of life.

i wish you know that, i think you are pretty awesome.

thank you for not trying.

Monday, October 19, 2009,4:05 PM

the reason the future isnt ours.

as time goes by your not the same person no more.

now its the idea of you that fills up my mind not the person you are no more.

and in words u used, learn the meaning of it.

for you may b good in combining words but never do you ever fully understand the words combined.

and if courage is what you dont have.

trust me, its no point to say what you want.

bcos its pointless.

mean what u wanna say.

dont make a fool out of yourself.

am cynically smiling plus silently laughing.

you are no longer the same.

and at some point.

that comforts me.

;)

Friday, October 16, 2009,4:25 PM

if mutuality is the answer, the two letter will b forever.

what if time never heals?

what other remedy do we have?

what if the mind never let go?

in trying to move on in trying to say its all fine.

a voice of denial is trying to break the loud voice.

what is wrong with you and i?

why cant forever b ours?

why cant 3 simple words b our language?

why is it so hard to let go when it is so easy to know?

god made you and i for a reason.

god brought us together for a reason.

so why isnt there a reason for us to be together?

i miss you too much.

my breathing aint right.

as am breathing a clean air.

i wish it was polluted with you.

it sure will make me feel better.

am sure.

imy.